Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize