I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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