now i know why i became what i already was.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
