Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
