ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
