I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
