we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize