Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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