I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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