I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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