The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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