cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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