I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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