Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
third nipple confirmed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
