we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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