If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
