My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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