Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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