She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
