while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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