We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
