I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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