but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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