Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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