dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
