He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
