Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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