Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize