Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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