Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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