you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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