apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
