How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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