i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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