Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
