try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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