You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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