Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do herpes really smell.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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