i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
