so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
