On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
