Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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