saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
