4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
