Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize