That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize