and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
