I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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