if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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