No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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