Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
