so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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