Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so let's talk penis.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
