do herpes really smell.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Never underestimate the power of titties
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
