Do you still have your period?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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