I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
