And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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