Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
