I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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