brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
